I love it! There are two "tough" 230 lbs. guys sitting on one end of the bar watching three girls in their mid twenties. What is it they're drinking? Oh, that is Koningshoeven Quadrupel. Yeah, looks like a proper girly drinks in those pretty little glasses, the other one replies and takes really big gulp of his Bud Light.
And what is the other one having? Oh, that is Maredsous 10.
...Never heard of it!...
...It is another beer from Belgium...
....Oh, man I heard about those Belgian beers... different... fruity..I tried this one last year and it was just like a piss.. can I have another Coors Light? And can you put a couple of them on ice for me.. this one isn't cold enough... I though you were the beer bar!!
I am sure you all heard at least once some parts of this conversation.
All the serious manufactures of carbonated alcoholic liquid are sitting in their oversized boardrooms trying to figure out how to appeal to a female part of population. The beers, packaging and ads do not seem to work for ladies, it is really puzzling. It is a great commercial: countless young women either scantily clad or stuffed in extra short and tight clothing hop around in a state of total elation while they are trying to please all the guys. What's not to like about it?
So they go and roll out a new beer for a modern female. It must have a sexy bottle with wild colour label and some exotic tasting fruit flavour because them women do not like the real taste of the beer.
Fine that's enough, stop hurling heavy sharp objects at me!!!
All the italic text is here to get your attention. Why? Well because all you girls who just t do not appreciate good beer are heroines in my little tale of fermentable starches.
Having been on a crusade to convert infidels to the gospel of taste and personality in their beverages for past twenty some years, I find it intriguing how many women are willing to be converted or already are carrying a cross with a chalice of great beer on top of it! Perhaps there is something wrong with me.. no I mean even more than the usual, but I find it extremely sexy when a female ask for our beer list and proceeds to order beers like Southern Tier Imperials, Belgian Quads or other more interesting beers we have to offer.Let me spell it out for you:
Women perhaps are not as smart as all the "guys" who figured a long time ago that all the ads on billboards, magazines, TV and interweb are true because there is no way big brewers would choose to spend money on brainwashing people in media rather than brew something worth drinking.
So if you want to appeal to them, try the archaic idea of offering some kind of real taste instead.
So here is to all feeble minded gals. Let us all raise a glass to toast your silly feminine refusal to drink crap just because!!
Cheers
Milos
So many beers and so little time!
The mega brewerer's board room has been shooting blanks ever since they decided consumers wanted stale bland beer rather than fresh locally brewed beer in the great national brand consolidation of the 50s-70s.
ReplyDeleteEP Taylor would love the new beer marketing memes. Not only are they selling you watery stale sub par adjunct product at super premium prices, they are selling you a fantasy lifestyle as well. So when macro brand beer drinkers go into a bar they can pretend Coors is real beer and has taste as well as pretend they are magnets for hot women who love Coors guys....just like in commercials. Actually for Coors guys these are not commercials but dating lessons. So when the board room is shooting blanks so are its brand loyal zombies.
On the other hand....Why do you think all the best beers come from monks/monasteries? It's because these guys brewed/drank beer so good they were swarmed by women night and day...all they ever had was women problems from women seducing them to get their secret brew recipes.....so they had to become monks to escape bigamy, palimony and paternity suits and brew in peace.
Actually that's pure fiction, but if Coors execs can spin fantasy lifestyles to attach to their label, so can we. ;-)